Assertiveness – How important is it?

Becoming assertive is among the most important life skills you can develop. Research studies have actually revealed that being assertive can provide an entire host of benefits, from increased confidence to much better relationships and enhanced psychological and physical health. Based on the research, you can see how being more assertive is essential to your well-being.

Before you start down the path to being more assertive, it’s essential to understand what being assertive means. Psychologists define assertiveness as having the ability to express yourself effectively. Also, it includes defending your point of view, while respecting the rights and beliefs of others. The basis of assertiveness is shared regard and honesty. Assertive communicators are clear and know how to set and keep healthy limits. Their relationship’s create value and promote trust for all involved.

If you’re serious about being happy and reaching your goals, uncovering your unique brand of assertiveness is essential. Consider how you feel about your life right now. Are you pleased with your professional and individual circumstances? Do you avoid conflict? Do you worry about what other people think about you? Would you rate your relationships as stressful? Did you answer yes to any of these?

The great news is that assertiveness is a skill set that can be developed! Just like any other skill you want to build. With practice and commitment, you can change your state of mind. You can live a life more aligned with your real values and goals.

Start practicing the Assertiveness suggestions below!

First, decide what your priorities are and stick to them. Then create some boundaries to protect those priorities. Finally, exercise the boundaries you created.
Establish a relaxed comfortable posture. Look the other person in the eye when you speak to them.
Use positive ‘I’ declarations about how you’re feeling instead of finding or blaming fault with the other person. Alternately, be especially careful of feeling lured to declare, ‘you constantly’ or ‘you never ever.’

Get comfy with stating ‘no’ to things you don’t want to or can’t do. Keep it simple and do not feel you need to include an excuse or explanation.
Don’t say sorry! You should save your ‘sorry’ for when it’s suitable for the situation. You don’t need to say sorry for saying no.
Develop alternatives to proposals you do not like.
Try to find compromises.
Be direct and truthful about your sensations, thoughts, and emotions. Remember you are important too!

You can always write a script for a situation that you know will feel awkward. Rehearse being confident.
Attempt to keep your concentration on the outcome you want. Focus on finding a communication style that provides a mutually rewarding result.
Above all, being assertive requires you to remain in your power, knowing that you have control. Not only over how you approach the scenario, but also your feelings about it.

Be aware that being assertive won’t get you whatever you desire all the time. However, you will feel in control and deal much better with scenarios that would have previously been stressful.

You CAN become more assertive!

In conclusion, there are many steps that you can take to start building your assertiveness today! Remember the tips below.

Just start with one situation that seems to replay again and again. Decide how you would like it to go next time. Then develop a plan and a script. While writing your script, make sure you take into account your true feelings about what you want. With this in mind, find some compromises that you are comfortable with. Finally, take some time to rehearse it. Grab a friend and practice!

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